Movie Review: Llamageddon (2015)

Llamageddon (2015) - IMDb

Title: Llamageddon

Director: Howie Dewin

Star(s): Louie the Llama, James Earl Cox III

Genre: Horror/Comedy

Runtime: 1 hour 9 minutes

Rating: F

Recommended: Weirdly, yes

Only an idiot would go into a film with a title like Llamageddon expecting a masterpiece, but this movie was 100x worse than anything I could have imagined. The premise is so absurdly simple that a five-year-old could have come up with it- a bunch of teenagers partying are targeted by a llama from outer space who incinerates things with its glowing laser eyes. Floyd is a pathetic, whiny loser whose older sister wants to get him deflowered (for some reason- how on earth is this normal sibling behavior?)

Floyd encounters a willing woman (who, miraculously enough, is not a prostitute) but he soon runs into a situation far scarier than losing his virginity- namely, an alien llama with an insatiable bloodlust. I’ll admit that the intro is pretty cool. It’s an animated sequence with a bunch of goose-stepping llamas preparing to launch one of their fold onto earth in a space shuttle.

Solid animation and music made me hope for a technically competent B-movie like Zombeavers or Slither. However, my hopes were unceremoniously dashed by what appears to be a home movie created by and for the inebriated. The actors are awful. The special effects are hilariously incompetent. The characters are brainless clich├ęs that are impossible to care about. I wanted everyone to die, and quick.

The llama couldn’t kill these douchebags fast enough. In many ways, this is a movie that must be seen to be believed. Most of the attempts at humor are weak but the special effects are uproariously funny, with obviously fake everything and characters being punched (karate kicked?) to death by fake llama hooves. The filmmaker obviously knows his movie is bad and doesn’t outstay his welcome too much. It’s an absolutely terrible movie that technically fails on almost every level, but for bad movie lovers it’s the cream of the crop. Drink copiously, light up a joint or two, and enjoy the insanity.

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